December 26

In twenty-one years of marriage, he only let me make him a birthday cake once, for a milestone birthday, and even then it wasn’t a cake, but a pie, a homemade version of a French Silk pie. 

My husband hated his birthday.  The day after Christmas, he often felt as an “afterthought” as a boy.  As a man, things like the JonBenet Ramsey murder, and the tsunamis of 2004 that killed nearly a quarter-million people gave him a very negative view.  “It’s just a bad day all the way around and I don’t want to celebrate it,” he’d tell me.  Once, we were in the grocery store around his birthday time and from behind me, he caught me glancing at cake mixes out of the corner of my eye.  How he saw I have no idea but he exclaimed, “Don’t even think about it!”  The kids could make cards for him but no cakes, no presents, no celebrations, except for that one milestone year.  “This year, okay, because who knows how many more milestones I have left?” he mused.  Turns out, that was the last.

That year, he requested the pie I mentioned, and a “pizza cake.”  Pepperoni Pizza Cake   It turned out pretty good, too!

We were just to have an ordinary day.

Well, I never thought there was anything ordinary about my husband.  I always wished him a happy birthday, I always fussed over him, and I think in some ways that was enough for him, knowing that I wanted to do more. 

We sang a special song in his honor at church today.  It’s a song I found on one of my CDs, and I loved it because it just captured something special about the day after Christmas, just like he was something special the day after Christmas.  Our daughter carried the worship songs solo today as a way to celebrate her father’s life, and included a song she wrote.  She has taught herself to play guitar and she gets better every day.  Her dad would be so thrilled to see her singing and playing, sharing her own compositions.  What an amazing moment! 

He can’t stop us from making a big deal about it anymore.  This year we ordered pizza, and my son and I had some – the daughter is currently vegan so didn’t indulge but she did have some fries from the pizza place so that had to do.  🙂 

Happy 1st Birthday in Heaven, Babe.  Save a piece of cake for me!  ❤

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